My Person

I’ve been meaning to pay homage to my person since I started this blog. Ironically, though, the Mer to my Cristina will likely not read this post about her. Not because she doesn’t support me or think I am a great writer. On the contrary, she loves my writing and encourages everyone to read my blog. Sadly, however, she hates to read. And this is just one of many of my favorite things that I cannot share with her (she has literally fallen asleep while I ranted about Palin, Fox News, and anything remotely related to politics). She is a Muslim by culture (spiritual by faith) and I am a Christian. She is a midget and I am the jolly green giant (we look RIDICULOUS in pictures together). She loves meeting people, and I question why this man in the supermarket is trying to make random conversation with me while I’m waiting in line. She is my complete opposite.

And she also happens to be my sister and I happen to love her dearly.

We were instant friends in high school, bonding in a Leadership class and as co-clock-monitors at the varsity basketball games. When my senior prom plans fell through, she vowed to be my date, and kept her vow, even after the literal boy of her dreams asked her to be his date.

Even when I was miles away in college, we remained as close as ever. But the summer before law school, we suffered what appeared to be our “make or break” moment in our friendship. She said something horribly offensive to me that seemed to violate what I viewed as our mutual respect and admiration for our cultural and religious differences. Recognizing that I was too infuriated to engage in any kind of constructive discourse at that moment (it might have been the stiletto heel of my white boot directed at her eye that tipped her off) she said, “Okay, you’re mad now, but we are going to talk about this, right?” But we did not talk about it.

In fact, we didn’t talk about it—or anything else—for nearly three years. It wasn’t until we randomly ran into each other at a mutual friend’s New Year’s Eve party at the tippy-top of 2009 that we spoke again. If memory serves correctly, there was hugging and a forceful command to not “hold grudges! Don’t hold grudges!” And, champagne haze aside, who could resist such a loud decree from such a tiny little soul?

The next day we spent about 4 hours catching each other up on the past 3 years and have been inseparable ever since. In fact, there have been several moments this year that I just sat in awe, wondering, what in the world have I been doing without her?

And, thankfully, I won’t ever have to ask that question again. (inshallah!)

She is my person because she sings to me (off-key) whenever there is dead-space in our phone conversations (you’d be surprised at the frequency of the dead-space, considering that we can both talk a head off). Sometimes, she uses her “FOB” voice, and that never fails to make me laugh.

She is also not afraid to hurt my feelings. Like a good friend—a best friend—would do, she judges me when I need to be judged, and she doesn’t hold back. Take this gem, for instance:

“[Diva], you are this beautiful, smart, amazing person. But when it’s about [this guy], you turn into someone sad and pathetic that I don’t recognize!”

She followed-up with:

“If I hear his name again, I’m hanging up on you!”

She then proceeded to press a series of buttons on her phone with her tiny frustrated fingers, just in case I didn’t get the message.

I couldn’t even front like I was upset with her about it. All I had in me was a shoulder shrug and a nod in agreement.

She ignores what I want to hear and tells me what I need to hear. And afterward, she will dance it out with me on the streets of D.C. while we wait for the Circulator.

She is full of life and full of love. She can’t go a single place without making a friend, she happens to be one of the strongest young women I know, she will pray with me when I need it because she is not so narrow-minded to think that a person of a different faith can’t share the same God, and she would literally lay down her life for her family and her friends.

On paper, it seems we are as far a part from each other as our places of origin are. But sometimes, your complete opposite is just a faithful mirror-image, displaying a reflection of who you are at your core, while simultaneously reminding you of who you have the potential to become. She is my sister from another mister.

Back like she never left.

(cue theme music)
Brooklyn & Punjabi MC (and we don’t stop)

Comments

comments

11 comments

  • Sweett

    Wow. I really think I would like her! (Yeah that “I don’t want to hear that name again” sounds really familiar! Smh. LOL!) She seems hilarious and very spunky! I’m glad you have someone like that in your life. We all need a “person” who ‘gets’ us. They’re few and far between, I tell ya. So thankful you all “kissed” and made up.

    Sidenote: This is a question (not a criticism!) (I know you always accuse me of being a Debbie Downer. LOL!) but if her God doesn’t have a son named Jesus, is it the same God as yours?

    I know I’ve been a faulty reader, at best, (I think reading is losing its appeal for me as well) but I would like to tell you how proud I am of you for maintaining this blog so steadfastly and wholeheartedly! GO DIVA! Can I be first in line for an autographed book!?

  • The Diva's Diva

    Hello Diva and devoted followers,

    First of all I want to say thank you. I was hit with that warm mushy feeling after reading. The fact that you would take the time out and give me my own post earns mega points.

    We constantly tell each other how important we are to each other. But please allow me to define what “your person” is before your audience begins to think you have given up on men 😉

    Check out this scene from Grey’s Anatomy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH2ErD7MtKY&NR=1

    Diva’s passion for Grey’s is contagious as she got me hooked on it. (Yes I was one of those people like “I’m not watching this girly show” but I sat down and caught up to the 5 seasons within a month!) Well this clip shows where the concept of “my person” came from. Its what you say when BFF just won’t do:

    Your person is your emergency contact.
    Whether it is a life threatening emergency
    or an emotional one
    Your person is the one who laughs with you and at you.
    Whether it is at your life threatening stink bombs or
    How you made a fool of yourself in front of that delicious looking man
    Your person is the one you can share everything with
    Without the embarrassment
    Without regrets
    Without thinking
    Your person is the one who can help you grow
    Your person is the one who can finish your sentences
    Because they just get you
    Because they just know what’s in the heart
    Because they just see what your seeing
    Because when they are on your taboo/pictionary/charades team the other players can just go home
    Your person is the one who will always be on your team no matter how bad you are losing
    Your person is the one whose reactions to your stories make them so much better
    Your person is the one who will be honest with you
    Whether its about how fat you look
    Whether its about how stupid your acting
    Your person is the one who shows you that you don’t have to be blood related to be family
    Your person is the one who makes you realize you will never be alone

    I would like to also take a moment and respond to Sweett’s comment.
    I will let you cut me in line for that autograph! I look forward to meeting you as well and can’t wait to explain how our God is the same. I would address it here but don’t have the time to reply to the comments that would follow. Religion can be a very hot button for people. I will just say I value our differences and believe they make us so much stronger, smarter, and open-minded.

    I have found my person and I hope that everyone is blessed with one as great as mine because once you do, you really are left wondering “how did I ever do without….?!”

  • HWill

    Very enjoyable! Thanks for sharing~

  • MyBFF is Paki & Muslim http://tiny.cc/gcvlp loved SATC2 as much as I did. r we so used 2 being overlooked we're immune? http://tl.gd/1mnl6g

  • MDFinerWoman

    THIS post is when I fell in love with the blog. I HEART GA and I love Cristina and Meredith’s relationship because it mirrors that of my and my bestie’s. I also stan for Shonda Rhimes and curse her out every Thursday between 8 and 11 pm for writing such amazing characters on two great shows.

  • @AdrieneAlexis 4rm greys anatomy. ur person is ur emergency contact. http://www.dcdistrictdiva.com/?p=106

  • dmv_livin'

    LOVE LOVE FREAKING LOVE THIS POST! Everyone needs a ‘my person’! I appreciate my person and my close friends. And that whole ‘not talking falling out of touch’ thing is real. I’ve certainly experienced this with a good friend or two. However, it only adds a little character to the friendship. ha!

    It appears that we are equally obsessed with the complete awesomeness that is GA. I’ve even put a few friends on to it as well. I love this scene. Its 2nd only to the moment after Mer almost dies and Cristina is by her side telling her she’s getting married to Burke. The whole “Your the one person I wanted to tell.” *insert water works here*
    whew!

  • Paki Mer's Mom

    WOW DIVA! This is the first post i have read on your blog and I love it. Roshni always shares how talented you are and I am now a follower.

    What a sweet post! Im glad you guys have each other. It makes my job easier!

    Good Choice with the Punjabi MC video!

  • this reminds me of me & my bff! <3

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