That is NOT Love! A Teachable Moment from 'Scandal'
There was SO much drama in last night’s episode of ABC’s Scandal, but the most important thing I learned from watching it live and watching it on Twitter is that there are far too many people who do not know what love is. Yes, Scandal is just a masterfully written show by the anointed Shonda Rhimes, but (some of) the issues the show brings up are very real and people’s reactions to those issues are very revealing of their own thoughts on what love is and what it looks like. Here is a clip from the episode that had many people in my Timeline passing out over how “powerful” MARRIED man, President Fitz’s love is for his mistress, Olivia Pope:
Olivia confronts Fitz about how unlike herself she feels when she “smile”s in his wife’s face after she sleeps with him. She says she feels like he owns her. He responds with:
“YOU OWN ME! You control me I belong to you! You think I don’t want to be a better man you think I don’t want to dedicate myself to my marriage? You don’t think I want to be honorable to be the man you voted for? I love you, I am in love with you, you are the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you I can’t sleep without you. I wait for you I watch for you. I EXIST for you. If I could escape all this and run away with you…There’s no Sally [Hemmings] or Thomas [Jefferson] here. You’re nobody’s victim, Liv. I belong to YOU. We’re in this TOGETHER.
Man, goodBYE! Have all the seats in the White House for this tired speech. (SN: Shoutout to Shonda Rhimes for addressing the number one criticism of this relationship with the Sally/Thomas reference). But Twitter exploded after these words with “that man LOVES him some Olivia!” and “I would love my man to say those things to me!! I exist only for you! WOW.” Wow, indeed.
Let’s deal with the facts of this case.
Myth: He “exists” only for Olivia.
Reality: He has not divorced his wife, has no plans to divorce his wife. I would leave it at that, but some of y’all need a little more so I’ll keep going.
Myth: He wants to be a better man, wants to dedicate himself to his marriage and he wants to be honorable.
Reality: NOTHING in his actions suggest that this is what he really wants. Otherwise, he would be in counseling with his wife and not declaring his undying love to his mistress on the South Lawn of the White House.
Myth: “If I could escape all this and run away with you…”
Reality: He can, but he wouldn’t and he won’t. That flashback scene was from well over a year ago. He isn’t currently making any steps to “escape” or “run away” with her. He could get divorced and walk away from the presidency if he wanted to, but it is much more important to him than an open, honest and unadulterous relationship with her. We’ve already seen how he treats the pregnant mother of his children, but if this is how he treats the so-called love of his life, I’d hate to see how he treats his enemies!
Myth: “We’re in this [love] together!”
Reality: “We’re in this [bondage] together!” And going nowhere fast.
I need people to understand that this dysfunctional and harmful attraction between Olivia and Fitz is NOT love. Love wouldn’t cheapen you by relegating you to the sidepiece role. Even if you WANTED to settle for standby status, love couldn’t let you do that to yourself. Love wouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself or allow you to jeopardize or compromise your integrity.
But do you know what WOULD do those things? Selfishness. Greed. Lust. Obsession. Pick one of those four, and call this relationship anything you want, but stop calling blatant disrespect of self, of the other person and of a spouse and children LOVE, because it simply isn’t, at all.
The Word says: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” (1 John 3:16) When you love someone FOR REAL, you sacrifice for that person. As I’ve blogged about on my The Love Dare journey, love cannot be selfish because love acts at the EXPENSE of self. Love is unconditional giving to another without expectation of reciprocity. Love does not withdraw or ramp up it’s giving based on what another person deserves. It just GIVES. It is inconvenient and it is true.
Therefore, if Fitz really loved Olivia, he couldn’t possibly have risked her reputation, her integrity, and her self-respect by sleeping with her in the first place, let alone have a full-on affair with her. He would’ve sacrificed his desire for her in order to shield her from the inevitable pain he would cause her by never allowing her the opportunity to be fully valued, respected and honored the way someone who loves you would know you deserve. Instead, he put his own desire to keep her around over her need to be validated, respected and honored.
I’m not saying he doesn’t have “feelings,” for her. But some of us are following our “feelings” right off a cliff. The Bible tells us “the heart is deceitful and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” That’s why the psalmist begs the Lord for a “clean heart” and a renewed, right spirit. Our most carnal instinct is selfishness and self-preservation. It goes against our very nature to sacrifice ourselves for someone else’s benefit. That’s what makes love such a beautiful and rare thing — not chemical, uncontrollable, unexplainable attraction. It is thoughtful and conscious action that is well-aware that its consequences lead to another person’s happiness at the expense of its own. Love tells its feelings to follow HIM, not the other way around. Bump a passionate speech! Sacrifice for me so I know that it’s REAL!
By all means, enjoy the highly entertaining and heart-stopping drama that is Scandal — Lord knows I do. But be clear: it is impossible to be both loving AND selfish. They are mutually exclusive. It’s one or the other, and everybody gets to choose. Putting behind what you may have done in the past, which one will you choose today?
Join me on The Love Dare and learn what real love looks like.
District Diva, snap snap snap!!! Your point of view is awesome! Just recently had a conversation with a friend about an affair going on with with someone in leadership and how if it was truly love and this really cared for her, he would consider her position (in the church mind you). Seems like no matter how much people talk to her she’s determined, smitten, bitten by the I KNOW HE LOVES ME BUG. Love is a powerful thing, hard to see the damage once your intertwined. But after the dust settles, your eyes open and you really see for yourself that it really couldn’t have been love. The great deceiver is lust, so often it’s perceived to be love…has so many of the same characteristics!
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District Diva… You continue to inspire with your well thought-out, out-of-the-way perspectives on very real issues that we tend to ignore. May God continue to use you! Be blessed my sister!
Thank you all so much for reading and commenting!! So glad you were blessed. I love hearing from you! God keep blessing you!
I would say you are correct in your explanation if this NOT being love, however to comment on this episode and not take into account that in Season 1, Fitz WAS completely prepared to leave his wife so that he could be with Liv and she talked him out of it and pushed them back together!
Thanks for reading and commenting, anonymous! So true, I remember that episode. BUT, she was able to talk him out of it because all he was doing was…TALKING. LOL. He wasn’t really about that life EVER. In the Season Finale he said the same thing because he says a lot of things. He talks like this but never backs it up!
DCDistrictDiva Fitz is not all talk he would leave his wife and this presidency in a minute if Liv would say that she would leave with him but lets be honest everyone at the round table sold their soul to the devil to get Fitz into office so he is not going to be able to just leave. He was ready to go in that episode and Olivia made a tactical move to keep him there and in doing so told him once again they were not in this together and she wasn’t willing to allow him to sacrifice the presidency or himself (considering no one in the circle would have allowed this to happen). Isn’t it funny because technically Fitz didn’t really get the vote and it is the one thing keeping him from what he really wants. Wonder how that is going to play out when he finally realizes what actually went down to get him into office. At the end of the day I do believe in this complicated scenario where scandal and betrayal are as common as breathing Fitz does love Olivia.
Thanks for reading and commenting, s2fine!! You are right, the goon-squad would NOT have been happy about him resigning at all. But the VP’s chief of staff [can’t remember his name] just randomly held a press conference and announced his resignation without talking to anyone first and let the chips fall where they would. Fitz could’ve done the same, though, yes, he had no idea the extent people went to for him to become president and would have suffered pretty severe consequences. Now that he’s not president, we’ll see how it turns out for them all!
Well, it’s obvious you are a religious woman and there for you, by default, have to be against this relationship. I can respect that, but going as far as to say that these two do not love each other is ridiculous. Fitz wants nothing more than to be with Olivia. He made steps to be with her, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t take him away from what he had worked his entire life for. This is a selfless love. She gave up her chance at happiness for him. He gave up his chance at happiness because he saw that she wanted him to stay where he was.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Lynette! Yes, I am a Christian and this is a Christian blog, but atheists get married too. I don’t think religion is a reason to protest adultery; I think common decency and respect are, though. I can see Liv’s selfless love because she’s the only one that’s sacrificed anything in the relationship, as mistresses often do. He, however, gets to have everything he ever wanted. He’s just fine with sleeping around with her and keeping her nearby. Letting her continue to question her self-worth all while saying “you’re the love of my life!” If that’s not someone peeing on your head but telling you it’s raining, I don’t know what is! So nope, not seeing the sacrifice. He wants to be president more than anything else. He’s made that pretty clear with his actions, not his flowery words.
Also remember in Episode 106 that he immediately tried to fire her after she read him about why the public didn’t like him (because of his marriage and relationship with Mellie). But Cyrus told him that he need to get her back or he walked. So he tried to do the honorable thing at the beginning.
True! That lasted all of 15 secs, though!
And more than that, he sacrificed HER, he didn’t sacrifice FOR HER. Do you know how bad it would’ve been for her to have been fired from a presidential campaign? He was doing what Fitz does best: acting in his own self-interest.
Hi DC Diva! I just stumbled on your blog wow! Glad I did!
First, let me say, as a Christian woman I struggle with even watching Scandal well at least because of the OLITZ business. That being said, I agree with everything you said except for one point which I will expand on in a second. I told some twitter friends that if the fans really want the “love story” then we should want Shondland to write it the “right” way and not condoning divorce but better that thana continued affair (in present time they are not sleeping together) and better the angst until he is free in my opinion (even though I know that is lust/affair of the heart). I think it is better for the fans to be patient and see how they could come together patiently and legally etc. It will make for a better fairytale ending if you will.
I understand your points about it not being true love but I agree with some of the other opinions that Fitz was ready and willing and not to justify the affair or sound naive, but i truly believe it was written that he was ready and willing to give it all up but like the saying goes “you can’t make someone love you” in this case “be with you”. She wanted him but she didn’t want him to give up being PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES for her. Even though at one point she was about to until Cy and Mellie got to her. She stunned him NO crushed him with her decision!
Overall, I agree with a lot of points you make especially from a Christian view but again this is a show and as long we know reality from fiction then like you said we can enjoy the drama. Let’s see how Shondaland writes them – it will be interesting to say the least. By the way, what is about Scandal that intrigues you is it the actual stories of the “scandals” or is it the chemistry between the characters aka TG and KW (because let’s face it right or wrong they got it). I’m curious.
Glad I found your blog! I will be sure to check in.
God Bless!
I’m so glad you stumbled, TD! Honestly, I love Shonda Rhimes. I was a HUGE Grey’s fan and wanted to be a huge Private Practice fan, though I still watch both out of habit rather than joy. I absolutely loved Scandal from the first 5 minutes of the first episode last season. I love the scandals and I love Olivia being a fixer. I’m in communications and I can only hope to be that effective one day! I also stan for Judy Smith, the woman this show is based upon. She is just an amazing lady. And as a problem-solver, myself, I enjoy seeing this on the screen. I could’ve done without the OliviFitz reveal, honestly, and could still do without it. Olivia is better than that! She has to know that and I find it so out of character that she doesn’t. But I didn’t write the character! So, that’s that 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting! Please come again, I’d love to keep hearing your thoughts!
District Diva – I’ve read so many blogs on Scandal, but this is the one I feel obliged to post to.
I have read all your points and I beg to differ. What Fitz and Olivia have is love, a very deep love. Now if you want to look at it from the biblical sense, maybe you will argue that it’s not true love, but we are not talking about agape, we are talking about eros and phileo. What is unique about this relationship that they have both eros and phileo. Most marriages and relationships today do not have both. I’ll try to counter some of your arguments below:
– If he says he exists for her, then he does. If he believes she is the other part of him and that they are meant to be together, he is in his right to say that. We all believe there’s that special someone out there we have been created to be with. Being married to female A does not diminish the fact that a man exists for female B.
– He wants to be a better. Don’t we all. At least he is honest enough to admit that he desires to be a better man, but is unable to be. We sometimes live our lives ‘pretending’ that we a better men and women, while we hurt and struggle daily. He has stopped trying to fix his marriage. There are many people in that same boat. Also, we have no idea if he has been to counselling with Mellie or how hard he tried. I will not judge him on that. I have been there and I know that ‘counselling’ sometimes makes things worse.
– If he could escape, he would, infact he tried, but Olivia didn’t let him. Now I know you would argue that he should have put his foot down when he was told that the situation had been fixed. But you have to realise and acknowledge that he was ready to leave everything for Olivia. Why didn’t he? Olivia was not ‘in it together’ Now this is where you have to recall the conversation he had with Cyrus proclaiming that Olivia and Mellie both won. They planned against him and they won. If Olivia had been ‘in it together’ he would have resigned. Why should he have resigned when the person he would have done it for was not with the plan?
I understand that Fitz is a flawed figure, extremely flawed, as . He is weak. He is a man who frequently needs to be rescued, most times from himself. Olivia saw all this and loved him in spite of his weaknesses. Everyone else expects him to ‘do the right thing’, what ever that means. Olivia also jumped on the bandwagon. Fitz is an antihero. he himself stated that he was a coward for not waiting for her to show up, which means he felt a deep connection with her, which transcended the physical.
Just for the record, I am also a Christian and in as much as I am against adultery, I am also against people living in misery. I am divorced. My ex husband made the move and I signed the papers. When people fall out of love there’s nothing one can do about it. I’m grateful, the show found me – I stumbled upon it. I have always believed soulmates exist and this show just makes me believe more. I don’t want to be Olivia or to be with Fitz, but I want what they have found. Am I naive, I don’t think so, because I know this kind of connection exists. Art imitates life. It’s also made me realise that I need to have the courage to wait to make that connection and not ‘settle’
I would like you to look at this from a different perspective – Fitz has been told what he can and cannot do all his life. The one time he decides to do something for himself, he was rejected by the love of his life. He has put and continues to put all he has on the line for Olivia, but she has made no sacrifices. I believe if Olivia asked him to divorce his wife, he would. He has a whole lot more to lose, yet he is willing to lose it all – his position, his career, his children. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
Thank you SO much for reading and for your thoughtful commentary, Hali!! I just disagree that if a person says it, then he also must feel it.
1) He says “I’d do anything for you!” But what has he actually DONE? Why does he need Olivia to be like, “ok, divorce your wife.” “Ok, resign the presidency.” She doesn’t want to be the reason he gives up all of his hopes and dreams so he can resent her for the rest of his life. She would NEVER ask him to do those things. If he wanted to do it, it’d be done. Period. Just like he wanted to cheat on his wife with Olivia for, what, a year? He did it. Because he wanted to. He had sex with her in the oval office while there were cameras on. Why? Because he wanted to. He ran for president. Why? Because he wanted to! I’m just not buying this “Olivia didn’t force him so he didn’t do it” argument. He hasn’t had to be forced into anything from what I’ve seen of the show. Resigning the presidency lets her know she’s for real. That’s called a show of good faith. He hasn’t made any good faith show at all. IF you can give me an ACTION that he’s done. 1 thing he’s actually done, besides TALK THAT TALK, then I’d concede the point, I promise 😀
2) I’m with you on living in misery! Get a divorce, Fitz! Oh wait, he won’t. EVER. well maybe now because nobody cares what he does. But since we all know how much Shonda Rhimes loves killing folks, we might just want to light a candle for Olivifitz and keep it moving 😀
3)I KNOW God has something way more special for you than this imitation of life on this show! I’m praying He sends it to you right on time!
4) To your last point, I just don’t agree that he’s been forced into everything. He’s in the dark about the goon squad and how much they’ve killed, lied and cheated to get him to the presidency, but I think he’s been pretty in charge of his own choices for awhile. And even his choice to not be in charge of everything he does is still a choice. And I personally could NOT love any man who would walk away from his children for a trollop. I just couldn’t. And I think Fitz doesn’t think Olivia would love him without the presidency, and maybe she wouldn’t. Guess we’ll find out soon!
Oh, also let me be clear: I DO think these people THINK they are in love. I am sure Fitz THINKS he is and so does Olivia. I just don’t think he knows what love is at all.
And one last thing: if someone can show me ONE thing that Fitz has actually DONE, not said, but DONE to prove he loves Olivia, I will concede the point!! I promise 🙂 Just one thing
Interesting read and point of view. I disagree on quite a few things but I think most people have made many of the points I had in mind.
You say that if he wanted to resign and leave his wife that he just WOULD. The thing is that Olivia doesn’t want him to resign his presidency. She’s made it quite clear that she wants him to be President because she believes in him as the President. It seems to me that him disregarding that and resigning anyway would be pretty selfish.
I also think love is significantly more complicated than what you’ve boiled it down to here. It requires two individuals to come together with all their personality quirks and beliefs and somehow form a unit. And sometimes you just can’t help who you fall in love with. Love is profound, it’s messy, it’s warm, it’s scary, its joyful. It can feel unattainable. It is everything but cut and dry. Most importantly though – love happens.
Thank you for reading and sharing with me!! Fitz loves the presidency though sometimes he resents it and for good reasons. He loves the power and authority, I think that’s made pretty clear on the show.
And, yeah, I just don’t see love as messy. Lust can be messy. Jealousy is certainly messy. Obsession, definitely messy. But love? Love is pure. Love is certainly hard to do, but that’s just the thing, it has to be DONE. Love is verb and not a noun. It’s an action, not a warm fuzzy feeling. You ARE love. You DO love. And if there aren’t any actions to back it up, it’s just words and warm fuzzies. Still waiting on that ONE action Fitz has done to prove he loves her! Just one thing people!! I’d gladly hear more things he’s DONE, but I’d settle for just the one!
I have read your post and although I feel its a great piece, I have to disagree on different levels. You stated that some one should name what Fitz has done to prove his love for Olivia…
Still waiting on that ONE action Fitz has don
From season 1 episode 7 when the whole Amanda case happened Olivia offered to tell the media it was her on the tape. from season 1 episode 6 we learn infact that Olivia is the one on the tape and not Amanda Turner. Now take a second and think about what that revelation would have meant…Fitz gets to remain president whiles Olivia gets labeled the whore the home wrecker, the Sally and loses her reputation as the top notch fixer in DC all so Fitz can remain president. Fitz however offers his resignation as the best solution which would mean him going down in history as an impeached president, letting down all the people that voted for him as well as all the sacrifices others made for him to become president. This decision would mean his downfall whiles Olivia’s reputation and job is still intact.
“If I could escape all this and run away with you…”
Well its true Fitz can just get up and resign without any approval from Olivia however we know the character Fitz is a republican who leads with his heart. A guy who leads with his heart will definitely be affected if he let down his nation, his administration an his family. Fitz father is suppose to make appearance in the near future which should help us all in understanding his character.
“powerful” MARRIED man
Am sorry but what kind of woman remains in a marriage were she needs to make a deal with her husbands girl friend just soo her own husband can sleep with her ….we dont know alot about mellie’s background but if you have to make a decision that forces your husband to get you pregnant as a collateral to be President in future then what kind of a mother are you. What can of wife does know what to get her husband for his birthday or even his inauguration day…
: “We’re in this together!”
Am sure we will learn more about the back story of Olivia soon but lets take a look at this statement for a second. If you watch the character Meredith in greys then you know that her daddy issues caused her to be afraid to fall in love and it took Derick a lot of work just to break through and make her trust him enough to love him. Does Olivia have daddy issues we don’t know…..however from this episode we can see that Fitz is aware that Olivia has issues. She took a perfect jab with that Sally and Thomas comment to push him away…but like fitz said he is not going aware. Take Edison for example when Olivia asked him to back up her client, he did the opposite how ever when Olivia yelled at fitz to shut down the autopsy he did exactly that.
“my feelings are controlled by the look on your face”
We see Edison at Olivia door and as viewers we can see that she is close to tears but Edison doesn’t. Fitz sees Olivia’s face in the oval in season 1 and knows she has found out the truth about Amanda. He sees the smile on her face in the pictures and realize its time to let her go and therefore helps in making Edison the majority leader…like the saying goes if you love something ….
Thank you SO much CILA! You put in work in your comment and I appreciate it! This is the closest I’ve seen to any real evidence of Fitz love. However, again, these are WORDS and not deeds.
1)From Season 1 Episode 7, those were just words! He’s offered to resign the presidency a couple of times. Meh. Don’t talk about it, be about it!
2)Mellie may be horrible (which I haven’t really seen any evidence of) and if that’s the case, then Fitz should divorce her. Mellie has made real efforts to fix their marriage and he hasn’t. She’s flawed like anyone else, but that doesn’t justify his adultery at all.
3)I posit she told the truth with the Sally/Thomas comment. She’s sacrificed everything and he’s sacrificed nothing. He owns her even after she leaves the White House, coming every time he calls her. And regarding Edison, Liv did NOT tell him to back up her client, she said, make a statement of support when whatever goes down today goes down. He did exactly that. She told Edison to do that because she wanted him to be able to make a play for majority leader and he picked up on that and made a play for majority leader. He didn’t hurt her or her resigning client. When Fitz shut down the autopsy, that was not a sacrifice he made for her, it was a favor. And it also helped himself out because the pastor was closely tied to Fitz and the White House and it would’ve been embarrassing for everybody.
4)I agree. Fitz is really into Liv. I just don’t think it’s love. Also for the example you give, Fitz was probably on edge for a looooong time, just waiting for Liv to figure out the truth because he knew he was lying to her and that Liv was smart and would figure it out soon. Love don’t lie!
Oh also for Season 1 episode 7 when Liv offers to say it was her on the tape, Fitz is in his FIRST year in the White House. He knows he won’t be getting a second term if he cheated on his wife. better to bow out quickly! If Lewinsky had happened in clinton’s first term that would’ve been the end. Mellie has a VERY high approval rating, and Fitz knew he was political toast if it came out he had an affair with anybody, let alone Liv. So yeah, still think those WORDS were a matter of self-protection, though Liv would’ve benefited from that.
I agree with you and as Steve Harvey (Morning Show) would have said it, Fitz is running game and saying all the “right” things to keep his mistress. In real life, too many women fall for this game, you just need to listen to the daily Strawberry Letter to see that this is true.
Hey District Diva,
I read your response. I love the show. I loved your analysis…and I had some thoughts on it…I am a scatter brain..and at the moment I should be writing a paper so bare with me…
1.) I think you are absolutley right about affairs often times being carried out due to selfishness, lust and greed. Ive seen it first hand and it happens often. Good word you gave. With that said, I think you are making Fitz equivalent to the everyday guy…and he simply is not. In the show, He is the President of the United States of America. Which President gets a divorce?? That is so unheard of and such political suicide that just writing it brings a confounded expression on my face. Fitz is not homie on the block…tht (may or may not) have a 9 to 5 and a family, or may even be the head of a corporation. He is the President of the USA. I am also a christian, so, lets say your pastor got a divorce, and married immeadiately after, admitting he was really in love with chick number 2…..what? ok, great. But believe there are consequences and repercussions for admitting and doing that. As a christian do I believe he should continue that? No. Absolutamente no. Outisde of a christian perspective? If he feels he is truly in love/cant be happier then do it. But either way there are real life implicatons to each action that doesnt mean he doesnt love girl number 2. As important as LOVE is, it is not everything. You still have to face your life and its realities. Ill come back to that in a moment….
2.) Olivia is not innocent in all of this. She knows she has a responsibility as well, and although she often feels (sympathetically so) as the side chick…she has a responsibilty to the rest of the roundtable. I feel you are playing down Fitz words because they are just that, words…and your drawing parallels between his words and (more than likely) the everyday, common, systematically economically, racially, (and in many other ways) oppressed male of color (or even males outside of this) that we hear about and see portrayed everyday in our lived experiences. However, Fitz has never said “I Cant” or “I wont” and that is powerful as well. And his words to Olivia in regards to giving up his life are never thought through discussed etc…its almost as if she just wants to hear him say it. She want to be reassured that she isnt crazy for feeling the way that she does…BUT, she clearly has always let him know that they cant work…and He cant give up the roundtable so she has essentially trapped HERSELF. She allowed herself to fall in love with him. There is a lot at work here. And Olivia is by no means ordinary, nor is she jobless, with children and no livlihood as side women often may be. She knows the deal. She just doesnt like it. And we get the story from her perspective so we are more sensitive to it.
3.) He doesnt love his wife anymore. At least not in that way. He doesnt show her affection and its not as though he leads her on to believe that this is not the case. We arent even made to believe they have sex. Whenever she tries to be intimate with him He simply isnt responsive. THAT, is an action of declaration of his love and affetion for Olivia, to the point where almost anyone that can safely know, knows that they are together or atleast having sex. He isnt keeping up pretenses for his immediate circle which is MUCH more than the average Joe will do. (As with the guy who was the Chaplain? and had a side chick and son…like 2 families he tried to keep aparences up with).
4.) You can really love someone and be inbetween a rock and a hard place. And thats why people should gaurd their hearts. For example, I think of the known and unknown history of illicit homosexual relationships that have taken place and continue to take place between Church officials, government officials, entertainers, athletes, or even everyday people with one another and moreso, ordinary (common) people. The secrecy of their relationship does not mean they dont love each other, (or in the case of christians) that they dont love God, it just simply is not as easily said as it is done. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SEX IS GOOOOD as is clearly the case with Olivia and Fitz…..AND YOU CONNECT ON THE MENTAL LEVEL? YOU GET EACH OTHER? You dont find all those things everyday. There just are real world implications tied to that…and thats not something you can really just simply write about. There’s too much in the unsaid dialogue. And for Olivia and FItz, thats part of what makes the fire, and the relationship so much more than what may meet the eye… Think about it more as a rock and a hard place situation. Yes, it began as dishonesty, and adultery (as even many solid marriages overcome). But it simply isnt that anymore, (Fitz doesnt even want to be President!! Its like hes just going through the motions as the show clearly indicates). The only thing now keeping Fitz and Olivia apart are the realities of both their lives. Olivia is indebted to EVERYONE at the roundtable even MORESO than Fitz…can she go to them and tell them the whole thing is over bc her and Fitz fell in love? And we also ought to ask, What is Olivia getting/what is her role in the roundtable…they made her appearance seem organic but now we know that this was orchestrated …Cyrus gets to run the country, the wife gets to have her moment it seems build her career (clearly more into the presidency than Fitz…to the point where she halfway doesnt care that He and Olivia have a thing!) and that guy gets to build his oil pipe or watever…the older lady gets to be supreme court justice…
But what is Olivia getting?? Whats so good she wont ever SAY ok, Fitz quit?( Like (but not like) these side chicks out here…wont ever say ok im done bc they want their allowances and/or access to watever this guy is bringing to the table..often coupled WITH love (of said guy)…(often to the point of confusion of which is what or the mere fact you just dont feel comfortable being intimate/having sex with other people for various reasons (but you have ur needs so when she/he comes knocking its a toss up….try and date (olivia) but you know it just isnt there and at the least wont ever be until uve cleared ur mind (often throuh push n pull–Olivia) of the one thats YOUR EVERYTHING (at that period).. all this goes into the workings…lol its just so layered.
5.)Yes, folks, dont ever get caught in this mess. Yes, you may be in a rock and a hard place relationship but it should never be about SOMEONE ELSE…the stress if places on your livlihood/safety is another issue (interacial relationships pre 1960). BUT FOR THE MOST PART, it is due to SELFISHNESS, GREED, LUST, DYSFUNTIONALITY ..and you ought to FREE yourself before it is too late!! So i totally agree with that!
Rock and a hard place? I say choose Christ!! What does he want? (But this isnt everyones idealogy). A christian should never end up having to deal with these very real issues. Thats why things like sex for marriage arent all about keeping you from fun! You can catch something, and someone can PUT IT DOWN ON YOU and really take hold of your mind! (very hyper- masculine, i know, working on it BUT puttin down works both ways lol). You can fall in love WITH ANYONE (Samson and Delilah) and thats why the Bible gives us counsel on these things and much more. Save youself a world of worry, and seek wisdom from ancient words. Ain’t none of this new. God’s got it, even if you ARE Olivia or Fitz, or Melly or Cyrus! And to that I say glory to God ….cause i would be lost without The Anhcor.
i love that you are brave enough to tackle this issue. i love the show BUT i’m enough of a critical thinker to swoon from 10-11 and move on to reality. and this ‘ain’t’ reality. its a lovely, whimsical romance with two impossibly attractive people making out all over DC with no one really mentioning it. please- monica lewinsky anyone? i agree, that isn’t love- it’s fun show. be smart ladies, dont settle for being a side chick. it is NOT that romantic.
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I love this show! It is tv…very entertaining. Who knows, maybe they will get married? Depends on the writers. In the first episode, Olivia didn’t wear a ring on her index finger, but now she has one…must be a promise ring. Everyone in this relationship needs to man/woman up, including the Mrs., Mellie. “Allowing” a mistress, just not the Christian thing to do…just so you can decorate the White House and live in Dolly Madison’s house and be on tv and probably brag to friends and family that you are The First Lady. She is just a show. The lies…oh, I had a miscarriage, it was only 8 weeks, but still family. Lying is just as sinful as adultery. Forging signatures to stay in The White House. Look, it is time for a divorce! Fitz is not the only sinner. I think it’d be great if a first divorce happened while inhabiting The White House. That is new for tv and it would make everyone feel less “guilty” for rooting for the two with the most chemistry. I would love to see Mellie sign divorce papers instead of her husband’s signature on re-instatement papers.
Oh yeah, if she hurries, she might still be able to catch Mr. Toe Sucker!
I truly appreciate your post. I am probably one of the few people in America who has not watched the show. However, I have done so ON PURPOSE. My husband and I have heard a lot about the show and our curiosity was sparked. The Bible tells us that above all else, we should guard our hearts( Proverbs4:23). I’ll take it a step further and say we should guard our minds, ears and eyes. While it is true that it is not what goes in to us that makes us unclean, it is what comes out. I want to make sure that I don’t give any extra room to receive, implant and let something grow from inside of me. 1 Corinthians 10:23 also tells us that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. While it is not sinful to watch the show, it is also not beneficial or ADDING to my life. I just can’t jump on the bandwagon…just like the 50 Shades of Gray books. I heard about it everywhere but ultimately decided that it wasn’t going to add to my life nor the life of my marriage. I hope that Shonda Rhimes writes it in to the plot that eventually the main characters realize that they were DEAD WRONG and come to God to ask for forgiveness which he will give w/o reservation. Now, I know it is just a tv show and the chances that it will happen that way are slim to none. I hope that those that do indulge in the show also realize it is just fiction and not to be acted out in real life.
I’m late to this conversation, as I’ve just discovered Scandal via Netflix.
You’ve touched upon what this show is really about. It’s not about politics, lawyers, and the President, it’s about affairs. To make it more interesting and dramatic, it’s set in the power chambers of D.C., but that’s just window dressing.
This is about any affair where the husband won’t leave the wife for the mistress, no matter how much he “loves” her.
In the ordinary wold the reasons/excuses are, the children, finances and yes, the scandal of it all. They aren’t as dramatic as the effect it would have on the nation as its presented in the show, but to the average people caught in a love triangle like this, their mundane day to day reasons are just as important and intimidating to them as the dramaticized excuses are to the characters in the TV show.
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O M G! YOU took ALL the words of my mouth! Thank you soo much for this!
Thank you. I really enjoy the political scenes on this show, but the “love of my life” romance scenes are stomach churning. Fitz and Olivia clearly enjoy feeling guilty and miserable, so, unfortunately, this storyline won´t be ending anytime soon.
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he tried to give up the presidency. he was ready to do so. tried to forgive all olivia,s short comings which we all saw was the reverse on olivia,s part. olivia was used as a bait to forced him to declare war against a country. he had to because he wanted the love of his life safely brought back to the states. a reason olivia did not see and was too proud and self righteous to appreciate. he proved alot to show he loves her and was ready to die for her. what morecould possibly have done. i just love the olitz story
Well, Ruccina, he could divorce his wife and pursue Olivia legitimately, for starters. He could treat Olivia and his wife with the decency and respect and dignity deserved by all human beings. He’s the absolute worst. There’s nothing to love about them in fiction and for God’s sake not in real life.