The Dithering of a District Diva

We all know that hindsight is 20/20. Knowing what we know now, many of us would go back in time and do things differently if we could, or at the least attempt to prepare our former selves for what’s coming. It’s significantly easier to make better choices when we know the outcome of things.

Evidence of this fact is all over our declaration of the day we remember Christ’s brutal, unjust torture and murder as the Good Friday. Thousands of years later, we can confidently say this day was for our collective good, because its the day that Christ decided to die in our places for the sins we did and have and will commit. Because of Christ sacrificing Himself for us, we are totally free from the consequences of sin (death, eternal separation from God), from societal boundaries, from traditions, from all things that would bind and limit our mind, body and soul–and that’s not just good, that’s AMAZING! What a gift!

But you know who wasn’t thinking like that on the first Good Friday? The Marys, Martha, Christ’s disciples, all the people He’d healed, all the people He touched, all the people who believed in Him and His place as King of Kings. They were devastated. They were distraught. Who wouldn’t be after seeing a loved one so horribly treated? They completely lost hope and faith, because Christ sacrificing Himself on a cross was not what they envisioned their Savior would do. He was supposed to establish an earthly kingdom and overthrow the oppressive rulers of the day. He was supposed to be crowned with glory and majesty in front of everybody’s eyes on earth and at a time the disciples believed would be very soon.

Instead, He was nailed to a cross, pierced in His side and crowned with thorns–all after being beaten and tortured and spat on and mocked. Not only that, when He was dying, God turned His back on His Son and the sky turned black. No one could see or understand what God was up to. The disciples fled for their lives and Peter even denied ever meeting Jesus, let alone being one of Christ’s most trusted confidants–three times! That’s how deep and immediate their despair was.

I used to find myself getting frustrated with some of the people documented in the Bible, thinking, if I had walked and talked and ate with Jesus in the flesh, I’d never doubt! If I’d witnessed Christ performing miracles time and time and time again, I’d always believe! It’s not like Christ didn’t tell them all of this would happen and not to worry because 3 days later, He would rise again, reconciling all of us to God. What’s to doubt?

It’s amazing how easy it is to make the right choices when looking back on someone else’s situation.

But what we fail to realize is that Good Friday moments, days, years even, for some of us, are happening to us right now. In some area of life, the sky has gone black and you can’t see where you’re going and you don’t know what God is doing. You are overwhelmed with questions and you feel like you have no answers. The disciples only had to wait 3 days and they barely did that; some of us have been waiting for years for God to light the sky back up and give us clarity and direction, to grant us healing or at the very least, peace. Still, our prayers, our cries, our silent anguish seem to have gone unanswered.

I’m in pain, God, please hear me! Have mercy on me and answer me!

And nothing. Sometimes, my situation seems to get worse, as my support system wanes when I need it the most. Instead of relief, sometimes I feel farther away from God than I ever felt before crying out. What gives, God?

One of my favorite things that I’ve learned from my pastor is that if we look to Christ as our genie, we will have a very hard time feeling loved by God when we don’t get what we ask for. That’s a word with teeth.

Even if the things we ask for we believe are good things–love, careers, families, wealth (the Bill Gates kind, not the Steve Jobs kind)–God doesn’t have to give these things to us to prove His love for us. It’s already been proven thousands of years ago. He would not come down from the cross just to save Himself; He decided to die, just to save us. That’s the ultimate love in action: sacrifice! And this is where hindsight ought to be kicking in for us. We ought to be reminding ourselves that we already know how this story ends: God gets the victory. What’s to worry about?

Whatever lonely, directionless, painful time we’re facing right now will not last forever; our God has conquered sin, death and the grave. Nothing can keep us bound! Christ Himself said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

‘Take heart’ means to have courage, to get ahold of yourself. If you can’t remember who you are at your core, at the very least, remember who your God is. The Almighty Creator, the ultimate provider, the all-wise God. Then you can remember who you are because of Christ. You are a joint-heir to the kingdom of God with Jesus Christ. You are a child of the Most High God, right this second, just as you are, you are wholly accepted and unconditionally loved. The God who laid His life down for you, who freed you from every chain, who promised to never leave you nor forsake you is on your side!

Knowing that, with all of your heart, can’t you be patient with God a little longer? Even if you have to take the Kimmy Schmidt route and just ask God for enough grace to get you through the next 10 seconds, and then the next 10 minutes and then the next day. Slow down as much as you can, get still so you can hear what He has to say.

And in your time waiting for Him to speak, pray that He open your ears and eyes and heart to hear and see His truth all around you. Stay in His presence until you hear from Him. Surround yourself with godly people who will pray with you and speak life into you. Take this period of waiting as an opportunity and privilege to get closer to Him. Tune your ear to God’s voice.

Be confident that He who overcame every trouble in the world can handle whatever your situation is–and most important, that He wants to handle it. Surrender it to Him. And move to the point where you can pray like Christ, “Take this cup from me; but if not, Thy will be done.” You may very well hear what Paul heard when He pleaded with God 3 times to remove the thorns in His life; God said, “My grace is sufficient for you and My power is made strong in your weakness.”

Trust that. Don’t lose hope. Don’t drop your faith. Take heart. The God of the universe is on your side. God hears you. He knows the number of hairs on your head. You’re His child. You are not alone. He will never leave you alone.

I’ve tried over and over to do things my own way–I fail every time. What a privilege to rest in the arms of the all-knowing God. What a beautiful reminder this Good Friday gives us, that God is still God. He’s got this. #ItsHandled. Let’s let Him do what He does best: Be God.

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