Conundrums & Appreciation
On my walk to the beautiful new Safeway in Southwest this morning, an older black man pushing a baby stroller ran across the street to join up beside me. When he got close, he said, “I love your hair!”
Feeling flattered and appreciated, of course I said, “Thank you!” And he replied, “No, thank you for rocking it natural. We need more women to do that.”
Puzzled, I nearly said, “Well thank you for taking care of your baby!” But, that seemed inappropriate. So, I just said “thanks,” nonsensically, again.
I really was flattered. And I love when Black men love my hair. It is validating when a man finds my natural beauty beautiful. And though this was not the first time a man–or woman–has thanked me for wearing my hair natural, I still felt befuddled when I am met with gratitude for rocking my hair the way I feel I’m supposed to. In my confusion, I said “thanks” to someone who just thanked me, as opposed to, I guess, saying your welcome? I am still unsure how I should’ve responded.
And then I thought about all of the servicemen and women I know who get irritated when I thank them for their service to our country. I am genuine when I say it. How can your heart not break when you think about the sacrifices they make every day for our security? How can you not thank them for their service? Many have said, it’s their “duty” and what they’re “supposed to do.” To them, it is as natural as being who God made them to be. Unsurprisingly, none of my friends in the service have ever responded with a “you’re welcome.” I’m not sure there really is a response to that statement, either.
And maybe there doesn’t have to be.
If what you have done or are doing moves someone so much that they have to express their appreciation for it, I say let them. It is nice to be appreciated every now and then. It is nice when someone notices every now and then.
And let’s face it: everyone isn’t living the life God created them to live; everyone isn’t happy with the way God made them. It doesn’t seem “natural” to everyone to just be natural (–as in, who God made you, not your hairstyle). It takes discipline, it takes effort, it takes courage, and sheer willpower to embrace who you are, and to feel a since of duty to be that person. If someone notices that discipline and effort, courage and will power, and wants to acknowledge that, that should make us all proud, not confused, or irritated. I suppose it is completely appropriate to just say, “thank you for appreciating.”
After all, we don’t have to feel like heroes to be a hero to someone watching. It isn’t about us, anyway. Our duty in life is so rightly defined as this:
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
This is the most simple way to create the greatest change in the world. Let’s all get free.