Dining with a Diva: Brunch at Clyde's of Gallery Place
Ambiance 
When you walk into Clyde’s of Gallery Place, you are instantly transported to Victorian-era elegance. The regally carpeted long staircase (caution, wear comfortable shoes, it’s a looong way up) that leads to the upstairs dining room, the grand stained glass chandeliers that drip from every ceiling, the wall-length oil paintings papered against the walls, and the dim lighting all fool you into thinking you are about to dine in a yuppie five-star restaurant. And you very well could be. But Clyde’s moonlights as a sports bar and casual spot on the first floor and even on a part of the second, allowing all drinkers/diners to comfortably co-exist. For Ambiance: 3 of 5 stilettos.
Food
I was overly excited to try the brunch specials. Torn between the reasonably priced ($12.95!) Spinach & Three Cheese Quiche with fruitcup and the Smoked Salmon Bagel, I reluctantly settled on the Quiche with a Midnight Mimosa.
The Midnight Mimosa arrived fairly quickly and was a bubbly, citrusy, delightful explosion, with perfect parts champagne, chamboard, and orange juice.
They also bring you a pitcher of filtered water, which, considering its D.C. water, was surprisingly good.
The Spinach & Three Cheese Quiche arrived later (for reasons to be discussed in the Service portion of this review). But when it did, its presentation was lovely. A wide wedge of quiche with a fruit cup on the side. I scooped up a bite of perfectly blended swiss, parmesean, and cheddar cheeses, fluffy eggs, savory spinach, and—-a soggy undone crust at the bottom. I was horrified. Against my better judgment, I took the fruit cup off the plate and sent the quiche back into the kitchen. Although I feared the repercussions, I still decided to try my second choice: the Smoked Salmon Bagel.
The Smoked Salmon Bagel arrived in reasonable time and was delightfully presented: the smoked salmon pieces draped across the plate in pink perfection, the capers and chopped boiled eggs rested daintily on a bed of lettuce, your own personal block of lightly whipped cream cheese, two lightly toasted bagel slices, and red onion rounds dangled with tomato. Saying another quick grace, I eagerly built the perfect Smoked Salmon Bagel. And it was divine. Every ingredient was so distinct in taste yet so harmoniously blended together atop that bagel that I am easily convinced that the Smoked Salmon Bagel is the ideal brunch selection. Soft-smoked salmon, capers, and red onion or bagels, cream cheese, and eggs? Which half is most dominant? Was it more breakfast or lunch? Who cares! It was perfect–aside from some overly fatty pieces of salmon that I could have done without. This nearly salvaged my Clyde’s food experience, but one thought of that soggy undone crust makes me reluctant to give the Food anything higher than: 2 stilettos.
Service 
The hostesses at the front entrance and at the top of the stairs to the dining room were very pleasant and I was seated quickly. There was no judgment about being seated at a table for only one patron, which is always a nice surprise.
The waiter was polite and quickly brought a pitcher of filtered water and my midnight mimosa. However, he returned about 10 minutes later to ask me again what I had ordered. He apologized and said he would rather have come back embarassed than to put in the wrong order, which is all well and good, but use that little pad of paper, sweetie! That’s what it’s there for.
He was pleasant when he did come by to check on me–which was not often, to be sure. And he also never refilled my water glass, leaving me to self-serve, which is never appreciated. And I finally had to flag him down to get my check. Although I tipped 20% (apparently it was “bring your kid to work” day, as he had a little kid calling him daddy sitting in the corner across from me with his/her(?) mother; we’re in a recession, I sympathized) it is impossible for me to give the Service higher than: 1 stiletto.
Overall
While I do plan to return to sample their interesting cocktail concoctions and desserts, simple math requires I give my overall dining experience at Clyde’s of Gallery Place: 2 stilettos.