The Dithering of a District Diva

In early 2010, I introduced many of you to “Happy Black Girl Day!”, a holiday created by Brooklyn diva extraordinaire and fellow blogger Sister Toldja. This once-a-month holiday allows us to take a break from the constant media assault on Black women and to celebrate the sisterhood with showers of positivity. The way I choose to celebrate HBGD is by highlighting an extraordinary and prototypical Black woman.

September Prototype: Mitzi Miller, award-winning journalist, best-selling author of five books, and Essence Magazine Contributing Editor

How does one become an award-winning writer and best-selling author? For Mitzi Miller, it was never a part of the plan:

I am such an accidental writer! I’ve always enjoyed telling stories; if something happens, I can embellish it well. That’s what I feel my strong-point is. But, there had to be something tangible with that skill and so that’s how writing came about.  I never wanted to be a writer, I wanted to be an English teacher. I had an amazing 8th grade teacher, Ms. Wilson, and I wanted to instill a love of words in someone else, like she instilled in me.

Her writing career began with an  internship at Honey Magazine — another opportunity she stumbled upon, but was compelled to pursue after cheating death gave her a new lease on life:

[Before my internship with Honey] I had the most miserable job. I was a marketing person at a trade publication, and I was struggling. I had hit a wall, I was crying at work and said I just couldn’t do this job anymore.  I couldn’t do it because I had just had a liver transplant because of my illness, Autoimmune Hepatitis, which is not curable. I knew that I couldn’t have cheated death to end up at a job I hated, to have a life I hated. So, I left my first job and stepped out on faith.

She described going out with a group of her friends, spotting Honey Magazine Editor-in Chief Amy DuBois Barnett, and walking straight up to her, saying:

“Listen, you don’t know me, but I love the magazine and would really really really love to work with you. I’m an English major, which means I am trainable, and I’m going to be a star, so you should get on the ground level before I blow up and become like Oprah and you can’t get at me.”  [Amy] gave me her card and told me to give her a call. I called her the next day and they gave me an editorial internship.

[While at Honey] I was so blessed to work under Joyce E. Davis and she was the most amazing amazing writer and also generous. She gave me real assignments to complete.  I had a column that I would do for her and then towards the end of my internship the person that was doing [the column] “Road Trippin” decided to leave. Joyce recommended me for it, I came on as a paid columnist and never left.

And she also never looked back.  Her “Road Trippin” column, documenting her girl-about-the-city lifestyle, was wildly popular; her first book, “The Angry Black Woman’s Guide to Life” was critically acclaimed; her second book, “The Vow” has been optioned by Lifetime Television Network; and her three-book teen series “Hotlanta” has won numerous awards and has been optioned by The CW network.  She is currently a Contributing Editor of Essence Magazine and a writer for Elle (UK) Magazine. She credits her unstoppable boldness and passion for life to having to face her own mortality at a very young age:

It’s not just the near death-experience [that shaped my perspective].  Having to deal with my mortality has had a huge impact on me. I have insisted that I’m not going to be the one who says this is what I need to be doing over the next 6 months. A friend of mine explained it by saying: “you live your life in increments of immediacy,” and that’s so true. My illness is so unpredictable; I can be sitting here and next day I could be jacked. One day I was healthy and the next I was in complete failure.  I waited 2 weeks to go to the doctor and it took almost 7 months for me to be healthy again. It got so bad that I thought they were going to have to re-transplant me.

I would never wish my illness upon anyone. It can be a bad thing, but the good I see in it is that I’m forced to live fearlessly. People around me have to understand that and support it because if I’m hanging around people who hesitate, then I’m going to hesitate, and I can’t afford to do that.  Even today [with all of my success] I’m just as nervous as an inexperienced writer; there’s always this doubt and insecurity I have. I never feel  anything is perfect. But I’m more afraid of how bad it will be if I don’t give it a chance. At a certain point, you just have to step out on faith.

For Mitzi, stepping out on faith includes breaking free of what is comfortable and stretching her skills as a writer in every possible arena.  Even after finding a home and a family at Honey, Mitzi knew she was meant to do more:

I was turning 30 and I had reached the point in my life that if I was ever going to be my own boss then this was the time to make that happen. I jumped at the opportunity to work at a mainstream publication in order to challenge myself. I wanted to see if I had the skills to translate my story to a larger audience.  [As a columnist] at Jane [Magazine], I had fun but it was also a complete culture shock coming  from a small urban magazine to a mainstream publication; the way the magazines were run was so different. But what I loved about Jane was that it had a great voice and a great vision and was the first mainstream publication where I could really see myself. I was never a Glamour girl or Cosmo girl.  I could really relate to the snarky  and sarcastic undertones and subliminal messages in Jane.

Even though Jane is now defunct, I don’t regret that experience at all. It’s always hard when what you imagine is not the reality, but what I went to Jane to figure out was whether I could stand up in the mainstream and if people would care about my stories. I only got to do 5 major stories, but two of the five were picked up by the Washington post so I cant be mad. I’ve been blessed to have been published by really reputable companies.

But even with an amazing resume, it can be hard for Black authors to break free of the “black author” pigeon-hole, where your work is marketed solely to a black audience.  Mitzi, however, doesn’t mind:

I write for a certain audience, again I worked in a mainstream publication but what I’m passionate about is writing stories for Black women. There’s a market for it and our experiences are so diverse and interesting, so I don’t have any complaints about [how my work is marketed].  No one is going to be a bigger cheerleader for yourself than you are.

I do wish that I would have had a mentor to help me understand branding when I first started writing.  A brand is such an important platform and a major asset if you understand how to utilize that.  If you’re the single virgin trying to living in the city of New York, you need to be the single virgin everywhere: in magazines, online, everywhere in life. Brands weren’t as important for a writer before, but nowadays the market is so saturated with bloggers because of technology that no one really stands out, so it’s so important for a writer to find her voice and stand on that brand.

Now, there are so many more forms of communication like Facebook and Ustream that weren’t around when any of my books were coming out, so the audience I can market to today is so different. It’s a different world now.

And in today’s world, Mitzi stresses that young writers find what they’re passionate about and explained how a writer can find her voice:

Joyce [Davis] always encouraged me to develop my own voice. You can read other people’s work. You can learn from what they’ve done but the individual voice is so important. That’s what people care about. I can tell the same story as 3 other writers, my views and voice will always stand on its own. I feel insecurity erodes talent. I can’t be Joan Morgan, I can’t be dream Hampton; these are the writers that I emulate, but I can just be Mitzi Miller and just be good at what I do.

Sometimes a writer can take for granted how awesome she is and care so much about what other people think, or what the audience will think. The most important thing I did to develop my own voice was to just get still.  You have to get still and you have to listen to yourself speak.  I can hear myself on paper. I remember my own catch phrases. People will be laughing at things that I would say and I started to pay attention to that. I see what people were able to react to, so I think that has a lot to do with being aware what phrases words inflections, resonate with others and also make sure you’re doing something you’re passionate about.

And Mitzi leads by example when it comes to chasing passion, no matter where that road may lead her:

Career wise, I hope to be remembered as an author, and a screenwriter. I know that I can work well with others but I would really bang out a solo book and then write the movie and retire into obscurity and be fine with that.  I look at every day as a new opportunity to start over.  Tomorrow I could want to be the first woman to walk on the moon I don’t even know, but whatever it is, I know I can do it and I’ve learned to make the things I want happen. I learned to walk to the front of the line, I learned that if they wont let me in the back door, the is a side door and a side hustle and a hook up. These are things you learn at an HBCU.

I really do believe that what’s for me, is for me, and no one can take that away.  So I don’t let hardship hold me back because it’s all going to work out. Sure, I’d like to move up out the hood, but these situations build character. It’s all fodder for the tell-all. You have to make a decision, are you going to spend the whole day being miserable or are you going to be great right now?

It’s really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negative views in the media, whether it’s a the state of the world, or the state of Black women. But you have to find a better way. You have to take things in small doses, you can’t become submerged in negativity.  We have to take small bites out of life and enjoy the adventure. If you’re trying to eat the whole cake in one sitting then you’re missing the essence any way.

For young women trying to build a brand — and a career — Mitzi has many words of wisdom:

Be very very careful not to burn bridges. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in on a conversation when someone said “Oh no, I remember how he or she treated me so I’m shutting her down.” You wont even know why you can’t make it into wherever you’re trying to go. It’s so real, especially in our industry. People are so sensitive. I’m not saying that you have to be friends with everyone, though. And I definitely advocate standing on principal, so if you want to burn a bridge, be willing to go down with it when that bridge is burned.

“Oh yeah,” she added, “and never meet anyone new without lip gloss on.”

As far as her legacy is concerned, Mitzi says:

I hope to encourage as many people as I can to pursue the life they were meant to live.  If someone can walk away from me feeling like their dreams are more possible, then I know I’ve done my job.

What we can learn from Mitzi: Tomorrow is promised to no one. Be fearless! Find what bothers you and write about it.  A series of “accidents” can also align to form your destiny;  Keep striving and keep living, and “enjoy the adventure,” no matter the circumstance, because “it’s all fodder for the tell-all.”

The definition of Superwoman living life on purpose, Mitzi Miller is: The Prototype.

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