Oberyn Martell: A Simple Life Lesson on Dealing with Enemies (Game of Thrones Season 4 Spoilers)
Warning: This post contains Game of Thrones Season 4 spoilers and Jesus stuff that I gleaned from a television show. (I often glean Jesus stuff from TV and movies, if you didn’t know!)
Oh Oberyn.
That face. That accent. That dance with the spear…
I’ll miss it all next season now that you’re dead. You were winning, you had The Mountain right where you wanted him and you could’ve ended it all, but noooooooo. You had to demand that your enemy acknowledge the brutal murder of your sister and her children. You needed your enemy to own up to what he did to your family. And that, my beautiful Oberyn, is why you are dead.
But don’t worry: your TV death was not in vain. I learned a valuable life lesson that might have taken me more time to learn, but for your fatal error: YOUR ENEMIES DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU.
It might seem an obvious conclusion, but that depends on whether you recognize certain people in and around your life to be enemies. Do they act in a matter that hurts you? Are those hurtful actions a pattern of behavior? Have they in the past dismissed you when you’ve tried to explain to them why and how they’ve hurt you? Those, my friends, are your enemies.
I started to craft an email to an enemy today, re-explaining the hurt they caused–something I have done repeatedly throughout my life with enemies–but today was different. I said, “What do you hope to gain from this, [Diva]?” And the answer was an acknowledgement of what they did and an apology–from a person who has consistently shown a lack of ability to acknowledge wrongdoing and apologize. Talk about futility. Thankfully, I did not send that email.
When you recognize that the person or people that you’re dealing with are enemies who really don’t care about you, then you can remove your expectations from their shoulders. Why would you expect an enemy to acknowledge the pain they’ve caused you, let alone apologize for it? There are those like The Mountain who, even on their deathbed, will spit in your face before they own up to anything they’ve done to you.
In fact, reiterating to an enemy how they’ve hurt you will only give that enemy the same fuel that Oberyn gave The Mountain. And do you know what your enemy will do with that fuel? The same thing The Mountain did to Oberyn: GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND SMASH YOUR HEAD LIKE A GRAPE.
[Gif redacted. You’re welcome!]
I pray to God your experience with enemies isn’t a violent one, but emotional pain can be horrible in its own right, and some enemies are all too willing to take the chance to inflict more damage upon you whether through words or deeds. That’s why they’re enemies.
Instead, the key is to learn how not to need the acknowledgement of your enemies. You know what they did to you and God knows what they did to you. Instead of seeking acknowledgement and validation from your enemies, seek it from Christ. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast ALL of our cares on Jesus, “because He cares for you.” See the difference? He cares for you. He sees you’re hurt. He sees that you’ve been betrayed, used, abused, discarded. He sees what your enemies have put you through and he cares for you!
God is imploring us: “Call to me and I will answer you;” “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”; “and call on me when you are in trouble; and I will rescue you”.
Don’t set yourself up for more harm by waiting on your enemies to care about you; accept that it may never happen. Pray for them and protect yourself; “above all things, guard your heart,” by putting your “trust in no man”; only the Lord. Give Him your burdens, hand Him your heartache. He cares for you and has promised to make your “enemies a footstool for you”.
Will you take Him at His word?