The Dithering of a District Diva

I’m feeling very Paul-ish, at the moment.

In 2 Timothy 4, Paul writes to his student, Timothy: “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. … At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.”

Granted, Paul was locked in a prison cell, facing what was sure to be certain death by execution when his friends in the ministry abandoned him for greener pastures. I’m just 6-months-no-dating — alone. So, probably not the same thing.

If you haven’t been keeping up with The Dithering these past couple months, here’s the skinny:  I’ve taken author and Christian counselor P.B. Wilson’s “6 Months No Dating Pledge,” which is exactly what it sounds like.  The purpose of not dating for 6 months is to enjoy a period of time where you are solely focused on Christ and preparing yourself to be a better servant for Him. I know, kinda sounds like something Christians ought to be doing 365 days a year. But, you know, we’re people. And 6 months is apparently a super long time for some.

I had folks who were my accountability partners taking the pledge with me. It was so awesome to have that support and accountability and people to say, HEY! don’t lose focus! It meant everything to me to feel I had that level of support from those who were seeking God first above all things like I am.

Annnnnd now, I’m singing Luther Barnes:

♫ There were many that started out with me, but now they’re gone astray, but I’m still holding on to His hand ♫

Sigh.

In four days, I’ll have passed the three-month mark. To be honest, I hadn’t even noticed until another friend pointed out the number of days she’d gone without eating meat. And while it hasn’t been a cake-walk — I’ve acknowledged some truly disturbing things about myself in this time — all in all, it’s been going well. I was content to take this challenge on alone in DC and just share it with you all and my other friends scattered in other states who are participating. But to have someone in proximity stand up and tell me I didn’t have to do it alone, knowing there was someone close by in it with me was such a comfort! And maybe that was the point God was trying to make with me.

What I was reminded of in that passage of 2 Timothy is that the life of a Christian isn’t comfortable and it certainly isn’t easy. Sometimes, like Paul, heck, like JESUS, folks can only go with you down your path for an appointed time, after which you must solely rely on God for comfort, peace, strength, assurance, and validation. Clearly, this is my time to go it alone and allow the Holy Spirit to be my accountability partner.  Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been a loner, doing my own thing, on my own.  Maybe that was just preparation for when times got harder and challenges got rougher not to be used to having people understand my struggle or even have any interest in struggling jointly with me.  What I do know is that this is my time to put my trust in no human being, fickle as we are, but to put all of my hope in nothing less than Jesus.

This is my time to realize that MY vow to God is not bent, broken, impacted in any way by what anybody else is doing. My pledge, my vow is between me and God, always. The point of the pledge is to finally learn that God IS in fact ENOUGH. I’m thankful for the reminder.

This is also a good time to realize why the 3 months has gone by so quickly: I haven’t been fully committed. No, I haven’t dated or entertained any gentlemen callers, but I also haven’t been actively doing what I said I was going to do. I’ve been eating healthier and working out (sporadically), but I still haven’t dedicated myself to serving at a new church nor do I do daily Bible study. I do not wake up and go to sleep with Him on my mind, and that was the purpose of this pledge, to clear distractions so I could focus my energy on Him. I’ve been slipping, without doubt.

And yet He’s been so good to me and loved me anyway! Where there was only one set of footprints in the sand, that was when He carried me.  He’s shown me mercy and given me yet another day to live, though Romans 6:23 clearly explains that I deserve death for my sins. He gave me life; The LEAST I can do, is give my life, fully committed to Him. So at (almost) three months in, I renew my vow to chase after God, seeking Him first above all things, irrespective of what’s going on around me. If mama don’t go, papa don’t go, sister don’t go, brother don’t go, I’LL GO, If I must go, by myself. I’m sold out, and I’m gonna hold out!  And on February 14, 2011, at the end of my 6 months pledge to You, I hope to hear You say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant!” “THAT’s my daughter, with whom I am WELL-Pleased!”

#FullyCommitted,Take2!

Are you ready to surrender your dating life to Christ? Will you give Him 6 months to rebuild you in His image?

Lord, I want You to fashion me for my prospective husband. I commit the next six months of my life for Your construction. I will surrender any area which is not controlled by You so that my life will bring You glory.

signed_______________________       Date__________________________

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