'Scandal' Is Back…And Wack As Ever (Watch this Parody Instead!!)
I’m not talking about the fact that Fitz’s Lieutenant Governor and now Vice-Presidential running mate is in love with Mellie, though that is clearly a recycled storyline from last season, when Olivia tried to fix a gubernatorial candidate who was in love with his brother’s wife. And I’m not talking about the fact that Papa Pope Joe Morton’s latest epic speech went on about 60 seconds too long. Nor am I talking about the “all Christians are psychos!” message Shonda Rhimes seems to put in all of her shows, the latest being Sally’s firm belief that the devil in her killed her husband, not her! (Tell that one to the judge).
We won’t discuss Harrison being scared for his life by Adnan and then sleeping with her 5 seconds later. (The WACKEST of Gladiators title has successfully been reclaimed from Quinn, and not just because she’s not a gladiator anymore.) And we’ll leave the blatant House of Cards rip off with the text messages on the screen alone. And the fact that (as I’ve written before) Fitzgerald Grant remains the whiniest, most abusive child-king to ever be hailed as desirable on television who only in the most dark and twisted of fantasies could pull Olivia Pope, let alone my girl Mellie Grant. It would not ever happen in real life.
Read: ‘Fitzgerald Grant is the WORST character on Television
No. What remains wack about the ‘Scandal’ mid-season premiere is that after all this time, we’re right back where we started, with Olivia making out with Fitz in the Oval Office when she’s supposed to be “fixing” him, or his re-election, rather. Last season, #Olitz was stomach churning. This season (especially after that loooooooong break)? It’s just pathetic and uninteresting and I’m officially over it.
I’m not saying that people in real life don’t hold on to people, places and things way longer than is healthy. It happens all the time. In fact, I’ve just written about my own idolatrous relationship with my virginity in my column for EBONY. And it’s often great when art imitates life so well that it smacks you awake and makes you aware of your real life issues and how to change them. But the “You need to let that go!” wake-up call happened at least as early as the beginning of Season 2 (As I’ve written before). Now at the end of Season 3, Olivia’s relationship with the verbally abusive, controlling, FLAT character, Fitz, is not even infuriating anymore. It’s embarrassing and more important, it’s boring.
Read: ‘That’s NOT Love! A Teachable Moment from Scandal’
And that should be one of many important distinctions between real life and television: one of them ought to always be entertaining. But Olivia fighting with Fitz and him violently kissing her to make her bend to his will is just stale. And while I hope Papa Pope makes good on his promise to end Fitz by season’s end, I no longer care enough to stick around to see it happen. I”m not rooting for Olivia anymore. She’s that idiot friend that you have to love from a distance because she keeps bringing you down.
So instead, I’m watching Cartoon Scandal on YouTube by KevonStage. It’s HILARIOUS and absolutely never wack. You’re welcome!
“Cover yourself in sack cloth and ashes, but first…RUN” I CAN’T BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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