The Dithering of a District Diva

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” —       1 Corinthians 13:1-2.

Particularly on Valentine’s Day, people are longing for love. Or, they think it’s love they’re longing for.  If we were being honest with ourselves, however, we’d say we’re longing for: someone to call us regularly, someone who cares about us, someone who opens our doors and pulls out our chairs, someone to cuddle and kiss us, someone to make us feel safe and valued and special.  Those are not bad things, by any stretch of the imagination.  Those things are also not love.

Few people really understand that love transcends romance, butterflies, physical attractions and chemical connections.  Even fewer people understand that love is not a feeling at all, it is an action. A deed.  It is selfless labor.  Love is giving to another without expectation of reciprocity for the sole purpose of seeking the other’s highest good and bringing glory to God.  That means we show love and act in another’s best interest irrespective of how that person treats us, whether they reciprocate and whether they deserve it.  Real love, my friends, is a jagged little pill. Sometimes, it is hard to swallow.  Always, it is worth it.  This is demonstrated in the Bible by Jesus’ conversation with Simon Peter in John 21:15-18:

¹⁵ When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

   “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

   Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

 ¹⁶ Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

   He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

   Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

 ¹⁷ The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

   Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. ¹⁸ Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” ¹⁹ Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.

Sometimes, we get like Peter, frustrated when our love for Christ is questioned.  Surely He knows how much I love Him! But love is deeper than words, there are actions that must be done to convey that love, and that is the message that Christ is trying to get across to Peter.  When you’re a new Christian (or “younger,” as Christ says to Peter), it’s all about you and how you feel and what you want. But when you become mature in Christ and are really committed to living out a Christian life, you understand that you show your love for Christ through sacrificing for others. You “stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”  Though Christ was indicating “the kind of [physical] death by which Peter would glorify God,” He was also illustrating for us that we must die to our own desires for the sake of others in order to glorify God.

This is explained in 1 John 3:16-18. And in case anyone is unsure about what God says that real love is, He couldn’t spell it out any clearer:

¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

and John 14:15: “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”

It’s just that simple.  Well, the instructions are simple, having the courage and divorcing your pride to follow the instructions? That’s the tough part.  Thankfully, we “can endure all things through Christ.”

Don’t take this to mean that Christ has no desire for us to experience romantic love. That’s just not true.  Read the Song of Solomon; it is full of love songs like this:

  He

 ¹⁵ How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.

   She

 ¹⁶ How handsome you are, my beloved!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.

   He

 ¹⁷ The beams of our house are cedars;
our rafters are firs.

God wants us to have beautiful and fulfilling love lives within the bonds of marriage! He desires us to have these things, not just because they bring us joy, but most of all, because accepting the challenge of “til death do us part” — and parenthood, as well — is the ultimate opportunity for you to show the love of Christ to specific people on a daily basis. (Read more on this here.)

We’ve all heard that Love is “patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

It’s one thing to know it, and quite another to live it.

What is Love to you?

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