The Dithering of a District Diva

Meeting these awesome women has made me a Happy Black Girl!

On March 10, 2010, I introduced “The Prototype” series in celebration of Jamilah Lemieux’s once-a-month holiday, “Happy Black Girl Day!” The purpose of the series is to bring to my readers and women around the world a prototypical Black woman whose success and achievements we can celebrate and discipline and determination we can learn from and aspire towards.  And, to be completely honest, there were just awesome women in the world that I was dying to meet and sit down with!

Mona Sutphen

The first woman I interviewed (informally) was President Obama’s Deputy Chief of Staff Mona Sutphen. She taught me to “be excellent, and if you’re going to be working ’til 3 A.M., you might as well be living your dream.”

After desperately wishing I had more time with Ms. Sutphen, I switched the game up and decided to write The Prototype posts from in-depth interviews with the subjects.  I’ve spent as many as two hours talking to these women, either on the phone or in person, and countless hours researching them beforehand to prepare my questions. The results have been life-changing and the opportunities for wisdom have been unparalleled!

The next Prototype was Congresswoman Donna Edwards (D-MD), who taught me to: “Chase your dreams without apology and live a life of honor; the greatest legacy is to leave the world better than before you came. Stay on fire!”

The next was author Aliya S. King, who clawed her way to publication and a freelance writing career with bloodied fingertips, and made good on her vow that if she ever made it, she would help new writers find the way.  I met her because my friend Henny (who ALWAYS hooks me up) suggested I follow Aliya on Twitter. Aliya randomly decided to have a Baltimore “tweet-up” to meet with and answer questions from new writers. Of course I went, and had a hilarious adventure on the way. She taught me to: “have the audacity to live the life you want to live.  Survive your battle-scars.  Remain hungry in the face of success–and defeat. And you’d just better help someone else along the way.”

Next was Valeisha Butterfield, President Obama’s Deputy Director of Public Affairs and Chair of the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network. I walked away from this phone interview that I snuck in on an unauthorized lunchbreak, feeling like someone had looked into my own life and showed me the light at the end of the tunnel. I was so touched and thankful to God for the conversation I had with her that I continued my unauthorized lunch break with a bathroom cry 🙂 She taught me to “Refuse to live a dispassionate life. Step out on faith. Trust the vision God gave to you and work it into fruition. If you find you’ve wandered away from God, TURN AROUND. It’s never too late to get back to who you are.”

July’s Prototype was Dawn Flythe Moore, who is now, basically my life mentor (in my head :). She was my first in-person interview, and solidified for me that the way to interview is face to face.  Everything about Dawn is genuine. She has the sweetest spirit and a heart for God and it just shows up all over her face and in every word. She taught me to “See the bigger picture; know that there is no task or opportunity too small when you are executing your vision; let your work ethic speak for you; and have a fire that no one can extinguish; “work from a place of passion”; and live a life that is fulfilled.”

In August — thanks to Dawn — I switched up the normal style by featuring THREE phenomenal women: “The Bad Girls of Bad Boy,” Dia Simms, General Manager of Diddy’s marketing company Blue Flame; Ericka Pittman, Vice President of Marketing for Blue Flame; and Toni Bias, Diddy’s Personal Finance Director.  This was, thus far, the most fabulous, fancy, and difficult interviews I’ve done.  I met these wonderful ladies for brunch at a swanky, New York City hotel restaurant, where I learned that my huge laptop does not go well with swank! But I was typing a hundred words a minute to make sure to get every drop of wisdom these three ladies had to share. I was overcome by their honesty, openness, and kind spirits– but considering they were all childhood friends of Dawn, it should not have been a surprise, as birds of a feather flock together. I remember walking out of that hotel and onto the streets of Manhattan feeling like I could run the whole world based off of their advice and encouragement! They taught me to : “Work your network! Build yourself a safety net of amazing women and empower each other at every turn.”

September’s Prototype was award-winning journalist and best-selling author Mitzi Miller. I was nervous and fumbling when I met her, embarrassed because my Chinatown bus was running a bit late, but I instantly felt like I was just catching up with my sister, sitting with Mitzi in a Manhattan Starbucks and laughing she oogled the muscle-bound construction worker who was checking her out through the window. She told me her story of tragedy and triumph and when she was finished, I felt like there was nothing God and I couldn’t do! I was ready to thank her and give her a hug and be on my way, but to my pleasant surprise she said, “O.K., let’s go chill now.” And we gabbed some more over lunch until it was time for me to get back on that dreaded Chinatown bus. I learned from Mitzi that: “ Tomorrow is promised to no one. Be fearless! Find what bothers you and write about it.  A series of “accidents” can also align to form your destiny;  Keep striving and keep living, and “enjoy the adventure,” no matter the circumstance, because “it’s all fodder for the tell-all.”

Next was DC radio host LaToya Foster. Her impressive resume and commitment to giving back to the community was enough to make me want to sit down with her. But when LaToya shared with me at BusBoys and Poets that she kicked off her high heels and ran barefoot in the snow in order to catch a person she wanted to interview, I knew LaToya was my kind of woman! After the interview we swapped horror stories of the DC dating scene, and she even gave me a ride home and had me on her radio show as a guest to promote the breast cancer awareness fashion show I hosted back in September. She taught me: “With God, impossible is nothing; Chase your dreams, even if you have to run barefoot in the snow, because the world depends on it — so you better not come home until its done!”

If Valeisha Butterfield’s story encompassed half of my life, the November Prototype Gina McCauley‘s story made up the rest! I chatted with this “Top 25 Most Influential African American” via phone for over an hour and was able to see yet another reflection of God’s work in the stripping away and breaking down of everything you think you know about yourself and who you’re supposed to be. Listening to her recount her humbling experience and how it propelled her to do the great things she is doing now was confirmation for me that in order to protect us and to get us on the track we’ve strayed from, God sometimes has to take away everything — including our ego — for us to turn back from our own desires and surrender completely to Him. It was beautiful. I learned from Gina: “Go to school! Perfect your craft and produce quality work! Debra Lee is not going to save you. Tyler Perry is not going to save you. Create the stories you want to see! Get on board with technology, do not get left behind. Move from complaint into action.”

I have been a fan of January 2011 Prototype Danielle Belton‘s blog “The Black Snob,” since my mother’s friend sent me a link to her blog, saying, “she’s just like you!” If only! But what really struck me about Danielle was her willingness to share her experiences with mental illness. Growing up with a 2nd cousin in a facility, mental illness was just something that my family never really talked about in helpful terms, and never heard discussed in church in productive ways — both reflective of how the Black community and society overall turns a blind eye to it. So, her story fascinated me and attacks one of the hardest-to-shake stereotypes about Black women: “we are strong,” so we don’t need to take care of every aspect of our health and well-being. I learned from her: “You will survive. The problems we face in life do not have to define us. By getting the help we need — whether its from a teacher who corrects our technical mistakes, or a doctor who treats and monitors our illnesses — we can and will survive and purposefully live an abundant life.”

I’ve been following the February 2011 Prototype Erica L. Williams, in her career and on Twitter, for some time now. Back in the days when I watched T.V. for a living, I saw Erica in an old Fox News appearance and got really excited.  Not just because she was holding her own on a clearly biased network set up to double-team her, but because I just hadn’t seen very many young Black spokeswomen serving as commentators. When I found out she was natural on top of it, I was too through! I had to meet her. She was so gracious before, during, and after the interview, when my laptop conked out. I lost all of her answers, and I had to re-ask the questions, later. Although also mortified, I was so pleased to get the answers that I had lost, because she was such a wonderful example to young women that you can be exactly who you are and be on television knowing your stuff and rocking your natural hair and not conforming to who the world says you ought to be. I learned from Erica: “Pursue what God has placed a passion in your soul for. Battle all forms of ignorance — racism, sexism, ageism, prejudice — by speaking well and knowing your issue backwards and forwards.  Don’t fold to the pressure of other people’s expectations — stand up, and ‘“STAND OUT!'”

I wanted to close out 2010 with Michelle Obama. Since I did not die and go to heaven, you can see I didn’t get a chance to interview her — yet. But no one was more fitting to round out the 2010 Prototypes than the creator of #HBGD herself, Jamilah Lemieux! I’ve recounted my earliest interactions with my sister and Soror Jamilah on this blog before, but the first time I had the privilege to meet her was when I interviewed her for her profile piece. I was so excited and happy to finally meet her! Because of her wonderful idea, I have had the privilege to meet and be inspired by so many wonderful women, and it’s been such a privilege sharing their stories with all of you.They have all filled me up so much that I am over-flowing and compelled to pass along their wisdom, and I have enjoyed so much being the vessel used. But this idea is just one great example of the dedication that Jamilah has to uplifting Black women. Her words of encouragement, advice, and support have been God-sent for me as a new blogger. She embodies what it means to be your sister’s keeper.

I hope you have been as blessed as I have been by these Prototypes! Check out the my series for men: “The Archetype.”

Happy Black Girl Day!!

Jamilah Lemieux, AKA a.k.a. Sister Toldja

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